“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
― Carl Jung

After the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013, people donated $60.9 million to a charity fund set up to compensate the victims. The outpouring of grief and empathy during catastrophic events is remarkable, and life affirming. In these circumstances, we are thrust outside of ourselves, momentarily casting away the bias, the preconceptions and the assumptions we make on a day-to-day basis. Yet, as our daily lives become more harried and more digitally isolated, we seem to be collectively losing our empathy—becoming increasingly impatient and judgemental of others—defaulting to our own egos. The cultural polarization, both politically and economically, is growing at an alarming rate and exacerbating the issue.

Empathy, derived from the German word Einfühlung, which means "feeling into", “is the ability to feel and share someone else's emotions. It's seeing another person's aspirations, conflicts and vulnerabilities from their vantage point, while still knowing and feeling your own.” Being empathetic is critical, it’s the key to healthy relationships and allows us to respond authentically and compassionately to others. Of course, there are varying degrees of empathy—from none (the psychopath) to those who suffer from empathetic reactivity and become debilitated by feeling too much. But, we do know that empathy can be learned, if we cultivate it.

One such exercise is to own our personal internal biases. It is human nature to make assumptions and judgements of others based upon prior “information”, these cognitive shortcuts allow us to move more quickly through life. Acknowledging and actively counteracting these impulses is critical. Studies show that a racial empathy gap is real. In one study, white people reacted more emphatically when they saw a needle touching a white person's skin vs that of a black or Asian person.

We are living in a global world, one that is increasingly embracing different ways of living and being. In North America, our communities are inevitably changing. According to PEW, in 2050, the demographics of the United States will be quite different, with whites shifting to 47% (from 67% in 2005) of the population and the Hispanic population growing to 29%. It’s time to begin learning from one another, embracing our commonalities instead of fearing our difference.

It all starts with each one of us making a commitment to shift. How can you be more empathetic? The first thing to do is move out of your comfort zone. Make an effort to meet people outside of your cultural, economic or social milieu. Let your curiosity take you to new places, banish fear. Ask questions, listen with an open mind, speak up when someone makes a discriminatory comment, and whenever you can, put yourself in someone else’s shoes.